September 11

I just wanted to take a few moments to reflect on my feelings on this day.  I knew it was coming.  Who could not see the date September 11 and not have some feelings about it.  However there had been little talk in the news about this day, compared to last year, the big 10 year commemoration.  As I drove to work, the radio replayed events from 11 years ago and flags were flying in yards, more so than normal.  All the flags at the police station were being flown at half staff and I realized it affects me more as each year passes.  I get teary eyed and a bit emotional as I recall the events on that day 11 years ago. 
There are just a few times in my life that I can vividly recall where I was and what I was doing and how I felt when something I saw as a big deal happened.  The first one, for those that lived in Las Vegas, was when Pepcon exploded.  I was at school at Las Vegas Day School, out at recess.  It was May and my mom was out of town at a health camp.  I saw that mushroom cloud in the sky and had a deep need to have my mom home.  At that young age, I really didn't know what was happening, but had that sense in my body that I just wanted to be around my mom.  Obviously in the end it wasn't that big of a deal (except the marshmallow plant next door that blew up too).  The second obviously September 11, 2001.  I was driving to work like normal and heard stuff all over the radio about air traffic being stopped.  Once I got to work, TV's were playing and people were gathering to watch the fires and eventually the towers crashing down.  I was impacted that day, but more in a surreal way.  I left work early to pick up my 1 year old daughter, who ironically was dressed in a US flag shirt and matching red shorts.  I brought her back to work with me, just so she would be close to me if anything more were to happen.  I just needed to see her and hold her.  Then, by that night our life was just like normal.  The United States was in crisis because of the attack on us and pictures were devastating to see and the stories of all those dead were horrific and the thought of war was scary, but nothing much in Boise, Idaho had changed. 
I think all these years later I am more aware and much more sensitive to the events on this day because I see and know more of the people that have stepped up for our country.  I hear of families whose loved ones died in all the chaos that day.  I think of their grief and their courage to continue on.  I see those in the military and all they have sacrificed for all of us that haven't.  My cousin in one that has devoted his life to our country.  He is away from his family more than not and continually in harms way, while we get to enjoy our normal lives here.  I see daily the love his wife has for him and how much she misses him and how much of "normal" life he is missing out on...all for us.  I also know, being married to a law enforcement officer that he too would have been one of those men running into those buildings and out there risking his life to help others.  I know everyday that he is willing to work with people that do not have much value for human life and yet he loves his job and gladly goes to serve.  It is terrifying as a wife and as a mother to know the terrible things of this world and yet get up everyday, send kids out the door and kiss my husband good bye.  I am so blessed to live in this amazing country where we do enjoy our freedoms.  I am honored to stand with my hand on my heart as I see a flag.  I am so thankful for those that are willing to display their flags in their front yard and those that honor service men and women in all capacities of service.  On this day, of all days, my heart is so full for those that gave and those that continue to give.  I am glad this is a day that will never go by without remembrance.